Of pain and patience

'There were moments when she felt a sudden, violent longing for him, but it was only impatience, not pain. She dismissed it, in the confident knowledge that they were both working toward a future that would bring them everything they wanted, including each other. '

Quoted from Atlas Shrugged by Ian Rand (Chapter V The Climax of the D'Anconias)

In two sentences, my whole recent view on relationships has been summarized. And it even goes deeper than that...to two words: PAIN and PATIENCE or lack of it for that matter.

I, and i presume many, often confuse impatience for pain (and not visa versa). My point is, in some relationships, we often tend to feel hurt, feel pain, feel humiliation, weakness or regret. We kind of feel sorry for ourselves, feel so helpless when we 'long' for our partners attention, love, care or even recognition. This feeling of longing can be quiet strong upon us. Doesn't it? And the analysis chain starts: why? doesnt he/she not see that all i need is his/her attention? feel that i matter to him/her? why can't i feel like a priority in his/her life? All it needs is an effort. A small effort. Why cant he/she give that to me if he/she truly loves me? and so on...

When faced with indifference, this feeling of 'longing' for someone can stretch us out. BUT... have we stopped for a moment and asked ourselves: is it really pain we are feeling? does that person on the other end really hurt us? did he/she really does not care? or incapable of love? are we really in pain? or are we just impatient and want to seek our partners love before they get the chance to express that at their own timing and in their own way? don't we just label all the time in between 'indifference' from their part when its just 'impatience' from our part?

I came to believe, patience would solve the big majority of our (what we describe as) unbearable pain. Be it in a relationship, with family, at work, with friends...when we learn how to be patient we save ourselves from getting hurt. Because often, whatever we need or want, is on its way but we are just too eager to get it that when it comes our way we dont appreciate it anymore. we would have just spent so much time WANTING it rather than WAITING for it. though only one letter difference, between want and wait lies a whole view to relationships and life in general. Approaching life with a 'wait'eye gives a different meaning to our existence. It puts us in the center of our own life, and makes all the things we want revolve around us waiting to get into our circle, rather than making our life revolve around the circle of things we want. The latter causes pain, the prior needs patience.

So...be patient...

furaha x