THING stage

I just came back from the movies..."Friends with benefits"...silly light sunday movie.
But i stopped at one scene. This old man and was advising his son to go after the woman he loved even he if there was one percent chance that she might be the one because life is short...cliche no?
Only this man had Alzheimer's disease...and it made his statement of 'life is short' much more credible. he said: 'if there is something this THING happening in my head had taught me is that life is really too damn short and u should not waste a minute of it'. this thing...this thing going in his head...brought back long forgotten memories.

My maternal grandma-may she rest in peace- was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease probably long before i could remember. i have glimpses of memories of my grandma when she actually could still remember who i was. very strong woman yet very motherly. i could remember her taking me to her favorite shoes shop and i can picture her very clearly in her kitchen. sadly, that s about it...but, even more sadly, most of what i can remember is all of her different disease stages up to the point where she was breathing but not living...and she stayed in that staged of stillness for a long while before she passed away.

few incidences have stuck in my head...and i might have remembered them from time to time...but very weirdly i have chosen to shut down on my grandma's disease. Probably because i was too young back then to understand what is this THING that was going through her head. Probably because for me she was gone long before she passed away...but...watching this movie today and seeing the facial expression and hearing the tone by which this old man has said "this THING" has made me think. just really think that life is too damn short. we hear it all the time...but for the first time in my life i actually gave it a thought and believed it. Just by playing again in my head the excruciating emotional pain my grandpa , mom, aunt and uncles have went through and especially the pain my grandmother had felt all along her disease days, by remembering that i came to understand that we come into this life with the purpose of living and not reminiscing, regretting, aching, grieving or holding grudges. i realised that i was missing the bigger picture, and when i look at the bigger picture the nitty gritty details that hurt so much do not hurt as much.

One of the incidences i keep remembering is the day my grandma just went on the streets without anyone noticing and got lost for good 4-6hours if i remember correctly, maybe more. all of her four children wandering around the streets of beirut looking for her till she was finally found. my mom actually fainted when she received the call that grandma was found. What was she doing? where did she want to go? what was she thinking? nobody knows. But she probably was feeling this THING in her head.

bigger picture is: we all are going to feel that THING in one way or another. let s make the most out of what is left before the 'thing stage' arrives.

furaha x