Changes

So i was in this yoga class...and the instructor was giving some introduction to the practice we were going to go through during the class, apparently a different practice to the normal class she gives ( i wouldn't know as it was the fist time i attend her class). The reason was, she was going through a lot of changes in her life: a break up, an injury, change of careers...The yoga class will emphasis on subtle movements and series of postures to embrace "change".
Then she asked: "Who is going through some major changes in their life?" "Who feels everything about their life is flipping around? Who is totally out of their comfort zone at the moment and just feel so disconnected?"
And i felt as if she was just describing me. Its totally me...i can bet no one other then ME. Since my last blog lots have changed. Got my work permit to London, quite my job, quite my life in Beirut, left my family and friends and just...woush...vanished! I arrive to london move in to a new flat, in a new neighbourhood, new mini markets around, new coffee shops near by, new pharmacy i drop by, i started a new job, met new colleagues, have new assignments, well everything was new . They're certainly not new...but all new to me!
So i look around in the class, while widely nodding my head up and down to affirmatively conquer with the instructor, only to realize that almost everyone in the class was nodding just as wide as me! So what? are they ALL going through the same exact thing? Doesnt my big fat move to london beat all off their changes combined??
And i started thinking...when was the last time i did not feel my life is flipping around?that i am going through a change?that everything around me is constant and stable but i am not? And i simply couldnt remember that time where i was at ease and happily stable.
It got me thinking...will i ever reach that point? if the 50 year old in the class was nodding just as the 40 and 30 and 20 years old that means something. And i was sad...sad to know that all the "changes" i am doing now to reach this one point will only induce more changes.
I had a 1.5 hour class of right leg back, plank pose, cobra, downward facing dog, right leg to the front, left leg to the front, inhale and look up...and during these series of postures i reflected and concluded that my life will keep on changing. So why dont i make that the constant thing in my life. Why dont all these changes become the center of my life and instead of putting EVERYTHING on hold, till im over this or im over that, why dont i incorporate all of the EVERYTIHNG in my "stablely" changing life?
Hence i decided to go back to writing my blog before online shopping for a heater to my extremely cold little new flat...
furaha xxx