My Orchid amid my move

A year and a bit down the line it was about time i move from my little cozy studio to a full fledged home. Not that the studio did not give me the sense of a home, but a little more space i thought would make me feel more settled perhaps? Studio=short-term vs. 1 or 2 bedroom= long-term? im not rally sure about that but i needed the change...more or less rooms did not matter. but i entered my little studio a year ago with no goals no expectations no foreseen future no certainty what so ever. I came to london for an internship while i look for a permanent job, and when this happened, the studio slowly slowly became more of a home to me but it still shouted out uncertainty in my life.

Amid my move i was damn surprised with the amount of crap one accumulates during a year. Anyhow...bags, boxes (lots of them), luggage, bubble wrapped furniture etc etc all in the entrance of the building waiting to be loaded onto the truck, there lied my Orchid on top of everything. it had no petals/flower as they have all fallen down...looked pretty dead for the caretaker and the movers who were loading box after box. 'I wouldnt be taking that', they must have thought. Till the caretaker spilled it out: 'This would look really nice in here( the entrance of the building im moving out from)' implying 'Why the hell are u moving this...this 'thing' '. i smiled and didnt say anything but felt quiet klingy to this Orchid...my Orchid.

I guess its because through all the uncertainty, it has been the only certain thing. Certain that if i take care of it and water it it would flower again. The florist told me a trick, not to water it but to actually just take it in with me to the bathroom while showering as all it needs is steam and not water (pretty weird and what is weirder is that i actually did that!!). Otherwise watering it is the first thing i did and the last thing i did before and after a vacation. At times taking it to the kitchen for more light at others bringing it back to the room for contemplation. Soooo, damn right i am taking my orchid with me...

After this chain of thoughts i calmed my nerves and i actually thought of letting my Orchid go and leave it to the entrance of the building in the caretakers hands if he promised me to water it once every week. Afterall i am in the endeavour of a new beginning and i need to let go. When i suggested that he replied; 'i am no good with flowers i am afraid'. Which reiterates his sarcasm in his first statement.

My rejected Orchid and I finally in the truck we set off to my new home. And i though...of all my belongings in the back of the truck, i chose to hold on to a leafless Orchid in hand. and here i was read yto give it up...give up the uncertainty days...give up the settling era and move to the settled era. wanted to let go of these days...these memories and everything attached to it...including the Orchid. Felt very contradictory. but i needed this Orchid/caretaker episode to prove to myself that by moving into my new 'settled home' nothing will be forgone or forgot...i needed to manage my expectations and know that to be able to move forward i need a reminder of my shaken world in that year instead of suppressing it and leaving it behind. And that is what made me both move homes and move forward JUST LIKE THAT in the van on the way from my old studio to my new home and my (not so rejected) Orchid still in hand. Upon my arrival, the Orchid was the first item to move in and be carefully placed on a table overlooking the Thames:)

New beginning...Old Orchid...

Furaha xxx